I grew up with a distorted idea of what it meant to be feminine. It was something to be performed, not embodied—shaped by expectations rather than inner truth.
It took me years to unravel these beliefs and even longer to reclaim the fullness of my feminine energy.
This is my journey of rediscovery.
I was taught that being feminine meant wearing a pretty dress, doing as I was told, and being nice. Intuition, vulnerability, and playfulness were not welcomed in my family, and creativity was only praised when it made my family look good. Vulnerability and softness were seen as weak or attention-seeking, so I had to shut them down to survive. These qualities—beautiful in their own right—became the path to being unaccepted. As a small child and even well into adulthood, I had no idea that these were aspects of the feminine because they were never modelled for me.
When I met women who embodied their feminine energy and lived it fully, I felt intimidated by their power. I stayed away from them, fearing the emotional vulnerability it would require for me to connect on their wavelength.
For many years, I hid from my emotions, my truth, and my vibrancy. In hindsight, it made for a very superficial existence. Afraid of connecting with my inner truth, I found myself trapped in a world that felt flat and often bleak.
I was so tightly locked into that paradigm, operating on autopilot, that I had little hope of breaking free unless something or someone forced me to. When the carefully constructed—yet precarious—version of my life finally came crashing down, I was faced with a deep emptiness. And I chose to face it.
As Eckhart Tolle says, “Every challenge is a disguised opportunity for salvation.”
Embracing my feminine energy has been one of the most challenging aspects of my self-healing—learning to trust my intuition, stepping into my own womanhood, and honouring it in other women.
With this awareness, I now see women all around me who have been taught to value masculine traits—the hallmarks of patriarchy—over feminine ones. It’s not that we are exclusively feminine just because we are women; we are healthiest when balanced in both. But society doesn’t leave room for us to explore that fluidity, playfulness, and intuition. Instead, we lean heavily into the masculine—arranging, managing, staying busy, doing, and hustling. All linear activities: A to B. I must… I have to… I should… That forceful energy pulls us away from the non-linear vibrancy of our wild selves.
Now when I feel into my feminine energy, I know I can take pleasure in it, use it to nourish my deepest parts. I can be tender, creative, and playful without fear, because I have that inner trust as my anchor. I no longer need to suppress my intuition with logic and rationality, as I was taught to do by a family that had been conditioned to squash theirs. I can hold space within for all those qualities and set them free, allowing them to guide me.
In shedding my old skin, I’ve become acutely aware that many other women are experiencing this same disconnection from their truth—having been taught to abandon their feminine essence in order to fit in. It is my honour to help these women reconnect with their inner wild, to let it flourish, and to allow it to spread fully into their lives.